Have taken diary attitude towards blogging.
Most pressing thought of today is not being able to follow rather simple dietary guidelines. I just love sugar too much. I really dont want to have health problems in my old age that are related to how I took care of myself. Anything preventable, I want to prevent, like heart disease, diabetes, even osteoporosis. These thoughts freak me out. Winning beauty contests are just not enough incentive to get off the couch (computer) because I will never be a model. I dont want to work that hard to have the body of a 10 year old boy. I will work for my health though. This is not about caving to societal pressure of ideals, but maintaining my own fitness.
The part that sucks is my sister is a model. No one famous, outside of her own mind, but at 5'11 and 125'ish, it seems somehow unfair that we share a gene pool. That sounds really whiny.
Funny story about my sister. Once I joined Nutrisystem online and they had (may still have) a BMI type index of how much you "should" weigh for your height. I punched in my numbers at the time and it gave me the appropriately saddening response. My sister in an effort to join with me, put her numbers in. The response was that she did not need to lose and was on the very low end of acceptable. So to this she asks, "But how much would I need to lose if I were 5"7"?" I just laughed, and we still laugh about it.
I want the confidence that comes from feeling strong, agile and graceful. The last two may not be true, but I'm holding on to hope. I do not seek someone else's shallow praise, because I've set the bar for myself. I accept it willingly though.
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