Recently alot of my friends have joined the Mommy ranks. My closest high school friends already have one or two and several of the women in my circle are well on their way to joining the group. Although I joke about losing them to the baby club, I am excited and happy for all of them, genuinely. Do I look forward to having kids? This question always poses difficulty for me, for several reasons. "No" sparks a litany of follow up questions and is not entirely true. The truth is, it is just not that simple.
There is a certain pressure to fit societal norms. Not just to be "normal" (a concept I've never understood or taken seriously) but to remain attached to your peer group. Seems we grow up together is phases, or we grow apart. Being a mother is its own language. Without a child, not only do you speak with an accent, most of the conversation doesn't relate.
I grew up in the mormon church, with a large focus on family, so alot of my time as a young woman was spent dreaming of life with a return missionary. I dont go to church anymore, but still it is ingrained into who I am.
I always thought I would be married before now and want to be before I have kids. The longer I am single the more uncompromising and less hopeful I become. Perhaps it should be the other way around. More hopeful and less compromising. But its not.
The responsibility of parenthood is something I take very seriously. I'm not going to settle down because it is expected. Making myself unhappy would be a disservice to my child. I am selfish. I've heard the theory that there's nothing more selfish than creating a carbon copy of yourself. However I actually believe motherhood is one of the least selfish acts, ever. I also believe there is more to family than blood and am an adamant supporter of adoption. I've seen that caring for a child can be completely selfless, if you accept the responsibility and take seriously the task you are charged with.
Those women are mothers, and this day is for them.
