Slipping down

Feeling a bit melancholy tonight.
I know its all in my head, but I am feeling a bit unloveable.
I realize this is ironic because I recently had a wonderful birthday party with lots of lovely friends, and then chose to bail out on those friends for their events. I am the distant one, not them.
I seem to be slipping down.
Still don't have my own place, and while it is fun here, I crave my own space.
Have an interview for a full time permanent position, but not feeling confident about that, however I did get moved to a new team with a manager I genuinely like (and don't fear) so work is ok. I just wish I had some security.
I am working on my health, gym and vegetables and all that. Gave up chocolate again after the Christmas extravaganza. Weight is up to reflect all bad choices.
Not a good match, but would really like to meet someone. Just another stress.
Very sad that due to not being able to get days for vacation, and not having money, I am not going to be able to go on a big trip this year. I really need to be more responsible.
I'm worried about my family, here and there.
Going to watch a movie, and try not to wallow so tomorrow will be up.