Pizza

I'm not someone who generally craves pizza. But yesterday at 11:30pm, I was jonesin' for it bad enough that I ordered it delivery (I hate ordering) and borrowed cash from my roomate.
Kind of like an addict.
I don't like to be a slave to addiction.

It is October 15th, halfway through October, most of the way through the year, and my weight... I don't even know what to say.

I am really unhappy with choices that are unhealthy for me. I had pie for lunch, and with pizza I had cream soda. I rarely crave pop, but the sugar need was so high yesterday. I had Cheerios for breakfast, ham and veggies for a snack, and Hamburger Helper for dinner. Twice. I know part of this is PMS, but I didn't drink enough water, or have enough vegetables, and no fruit. I am now awake at 5:30am, again, my skin is so itchy it feels like I have bugs, and my digestive track is unhappy. Plus my face now has hints of a breakout. All related to what I chose to eat. This is no good.

I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't recognize my face in the mirror. I have no energy, and I don't fit... anything.

I need to try harder.

One good thing is I ran yesterday. Just 3k, but better than nothing.

I need more good points, and less bad ones. An aquaintance was soliciting health advice on fb yesterday. I don't seem to have that figured out at all yet.

Thanksgiving

Coming to the end of the long weekend, and had big dinners with friends and family. Ham, for both this year, no turkey. Turkey when I go visit my parents in 2 weeks though I'm sure. Have a migraine now, maybe from the pie. Enough about food.
I had a really good, hard run today. 6×6mins, for almost 5k. Not aven close to prepared for the 10k, but looking forward to it now.
So thankful for the amazing people the fill my life. I feel so lucky to have such a great family and friends.
The northern lights were dancing on my way home. I love this beautiful life.

Monday/Friday

I had yesterday off, and I work today before a 4 day weekend. So much time!

Ran 3.31K today. Really proud of actually getting outside and running.

Oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast, feeling really positive and motivated to be healthy.

Fraud

A friend gave me a very nice compliment yesterday, about how it looked like my pants were looser and I must be losing weight. The sad truth is, these are new pants. They are the same size as my old fat pants, but they have pockets... so yay!
What is funny (?) to me, is this friend has a had a more than noticeable recent weight loss (60lbs I was informed by a mutual friend, from 1500 calories a day, and no gluten/wheat, plus running) and while I was really happy for her, I am also jealous.
I ran into another friend earlier in the week who has become a personal trainer and is looking fitter, and while we talked, all I could think was, she must think I look so... awful.
I have not been running as much and have a 10k in 3 weeks with my sister, the marathon runner. I don't know how to tell her I am not prepared.
The only plus side to this is I have been on the healthy train, pretty well since the beginning of the month. Small consolation, that the cookies I give up get me closer to my goal.

Try

Tried Zumba again, for the second time this year. Still not a fan. But it wasn't as terrible as the first time, and my best friend wanted to sign up,  so we are hanging out and being healthy, for the next 6 weeks.
My run with my sister is in 4 weeks. Panic!
So not prepared. All my fault. Well, mine and cookies. They hold some accountability here.
Tried to eat well today, but garlic sausage as a protein source just means heartburn and gas.
Dairy Queen is an excellent birthday treat for a boy just turned a teen, but it means a stomach ache and hives for me.
The last song at Zumba tonight was ine of my all time faves, Try by Pink. I find it so inspiring. The beauty of the song, and just the idea, even just the word.
Try.

Back to scratch

Last Wednesday I went to the gym and made the mistake that is weighing myself. I was disappointed and disheartened to discover I am still at 220, despite my hard work.
I recently considered challenging myself with a half marathon, I'm taking this as an indication that I do need to up the ante on my fitness, and diet.
Had a really good run on Sunday, hoping to keep that momentum as I head towards the RocknRoll 10k in 5 weeks.
Really jealous of an acquaintances success in achieving weight loss.
I feel dizzy and lethargic again, and I hate not recognizing myself in the mirror.
Time to focus.

Thoughts from the changeroom

I went bra shopping today. Aside from having to see myself in a full length mirror, it was pretty good. Fun, even.
So, there is a trend of naming bra styles with a woman's name. Who came up with this? Why would I want to wear Danielle's bra, or Sofia? I used to wear Olga's, and was properly supported, as you may imagine. Instead, I would love something like, jobs you might do in that bra. The Astronaut. The Lawyer series. The Veterinarian. Well, you get the idea.